Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar [Unabridged] [Audible Audio Edition] Author: | Language: English | ISBN:
B00BW7OKA6 | Format: PDF, EPUB
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Kelly Oxford is....
A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds
Not the queen of the world
An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher
The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush
A born salesman
Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20
That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time
Totally an expert on strep throat
Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend
A writer
A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes
"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." (Bea, age four)
Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket
"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." (Roger Ebert)
Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon
A terrible liar
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- Audible Audio Edition
- Listening Length: 10 hours
- Program Type: Audiobook
- Version: Unabridged
- Publisher: HarperAudio
- Audible.com Release Date: April 2, 2013
- Whispersync for Voice: Ready
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00BW7OKA6
It would be a little easier to like Kelly more if you got the feeling that she liked herself just a tiny bit less. What makes these types of memoirs work really well is the kind of self deprecation that lets you know that you will hear the whole story. Kelly is not the kind of narrator (like David Sedaris) who is truly going to trot out her own shortcomings. Instead she has the kind of fake shortcomings that prevent any of the stories from becoming personal and funny.
Compare, I Talk Pretty One Day to this book. Sedaris takes his weakness and lays it bare. In doing that we come to understand the whole story and get a good idea of his role and the other players'. But every story in this book is the Kelly Show, starring Kelly. Poor Kelly is too smart, too skinny, too pretty. She has madcap adventures with menstruating dogs and monkey penises. And she at six has a remarkably (and improbably) mature vocabulary. If you are going to retell a story, it is fine to use your adult vocabulary. But the quotes she gives us are so discordenant that it detracts from the story (Kelly is so smart and trying to produce a play). Kelly and her friends go to Vegas as David Copperfield's guests. The whole point of this anecdote is that everyone universally agrees that kelly has a great body. She should, having dedicated her life to navel gazing.
You do have to overlook the endless "I'm smarter than everyone" shtick. And the vaguely racist comments. And the not at all vaguely racist comments. And the complaints about her husband who ought to be nominated for sainthood. And the little barbs about fat people. A smoker laughing at the chubbies is hilarious but not for the reasons Kelly thinks. And then there is Kelly's turn as a rehabilitation assistant.
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