How to Get a Date Worth Keeping [Unabridged] [Audible Audio Edition] Author: | Language: English | ISBN:
B004JC810G | Format: PDF, EPUB
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It stinks, doesn't it. But what can you do to fix it? More than you've ever imagined. You can put an end to the datelessness. Starting today---right now---you can begin a journey that will bring fun and interesting people into your life, broaden your experience of others and yourself, and lead you toward that date of all dates---a date worth keeping. This book is for YOU if:
You want to get more dates or better dates.You wonder where 'the good ones' are.You keep repeating the same old cycle in your dating life and want to change it. You wonder why people who aren't as nice as you get all the dates. You're attracted to the wrong kind, while the right kind lack the 'chemistry.' You're waiting for God to bring you the right person---and you've been waiting an awfully long time.-You wonder what it is about you that fails to attract dates. With over 10 years of experience personally coaching singles on dating, Dr. Henry Cloud shares his proven, very doable, step-by-step approach to overcoming your sticking points and getting all the dates you could want. The results speak for themselves. Filled with true-life examples you'll identify with instantly, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping will prove its worth to you many times over in the exciting months ahead.
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- Audible Audio Edition
- Listening Length: 7 hours and 8 minutes
- Program Type: Audiobook
- Version: Unabridged
- Publisher: Zondervan
- Audible.com Release Date: January 7, 2011
- Language: English
- ASIN: B004JC810G
Let me explain the way I date according to the book How to Find a Date worth Keeping. I have relatively recently changed somewhat the style of dating because of reading this book as well as Boundaries and Boundaries in Dating. Also,a visit to a Christian counselor to some extent and the book Safe People had some influence too.
Because of what I've learned about human nature (as well as super nature), there is a need to establish that the one you are with is able to delay gratification long enough to separate lust from love so that both people can objectively learn about each other. This takes a time period much longer than the traditional length of time to accomplish. Cloud and Townsend (the authors) suggest that anything less than a year is probably too soon to be talking about a truly committed relationship. They go on to say that 2 to 3 years is not an unreasonable time. They also say that it depends a bit on individual pace.
I used to focus on one woman at a time in the traditional way of dating until she or I decided we were no longer compatible, then move on or decide on being "friends". Now I casually date for a much longer period, dating a few women concurrently, to see which of those can hang in there with me in order to really get to know me, among other reasons.
(I'll stop here to clarify a definition. I think our world has two meanings for "casual dating" One meaning is as I have used it above - dating to get to know someone keeping the boundaries of physical interaction at a bare minimum initially.
The second meaning is quite the opposite and that is >>go out/have sex/repeat with different partner with a cavalier attitude.
When I use this term "casual dating" I'm using the first definition always.
Perhaps one of the things in a church culture is that there isn't enough mentorship from parents or from the church on proper dating.
One of the biggest and most misleading ideas implied in church culture or propagated in books are:
a) Just wait, God will provide for you a mate.
b) If you are spiritual enough, and seek God earnestly, God will give you the best. Don't settle for second best.
With that two statements, it misleads people who are seriously looking for a mate.
First, because of that a lot of people just sit around waiting for a life-partner to drop out of mid-air into their lives.
God certainly does provide, he provides the birds of the air food, but still the bird must look for the worm. God gave the Israelites the land, but they still had to go in and fight for it. It was not passive inactivity that won the day. God does his part, we must do ours.
Next, what is this idea of "second best"? If A was meant for B but instead marries C this will cause a chain reaction where B marries D which leads to E who was supposed to marry D to marry F and so on... So with just one choice, we cause the whole universe held together by God to crash? Even Microsoft Windows performs better than that!
So we end up with a lot of singles in church, waiting and waiting... and waiting... and waiting... just waiting... perhaps one of them thinks that she must serve God more or perhaps she wasn't spiritual enough.
So she volunteers... for the children's ministry. Good luck in increasing her odds of finding someone there.
Which leads to another thought. Before the invention of the automobile, most people married within a radius of 2 miles from where they lived.
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